Letter to Kenny Rogers

I wrote the following letter to Kenny Rogers from a colleague. I sent this letter to all of the printers in his building so that people would think he had made a printing error.

Here is the letter:


Dear Kenny,
I am a huge fan of yours and have been for years. I have cried at “Ruby, Don’t Take Your Love to Town” more times than I care to admit, and I generally pump iron to “The Gambler.” I’m a 4^thgrade teacher at [location]. I am new to teaching, so I’m really trying to make a good impression. I thought I would try to get you to come here and do a concert for us. It wouldn’t have to be a long concert, and I would be glad to pay for your room at the [local inn] for a night. I know you’ve had some plastic sugery done, so I could arrange for the lights to be dim or whatever, if you’re uncomfortable with people seeing you so close. We have a gym here, and I’m sure the gym teacher wouldn’t mind if you sang in the gym. I know this is sort of an odd request, so I’ll just assume that you’ll pass, but in the off-chance that you don’t, we would be honored to have you here. In case you can’t come, I have a picture that I would like you to sign for our faculty. If you have a copy machine, maybe you can make a bunch of copies. If you would sign one specifically for [his boss], he’s my boss, and it wouldn’t hurt my chances of getting tenure if I got him an autographed picture of you. Anyway, thank you for reading my letter. I got your address from the internet, so if this is being read by someone, please forward this to Kenny Rogers.
Sincerely,
[coworker]
4^th Grade Teacher and football coach
[place of employment]
P.S. I love your Roasters restaurants!